February 1, 2013

Making Your Marriage Last: A 5 Year Celebration

Last weekend E and I had the opportunity to celebrate our fifth wedding anniversary. I had a wonderful time spending the day with my hubby. He is super thoughtful and took me to see Le Miserables and to dinner (with a break in between to feed the baby of course). As we sat and talked about our favorite things about the last five years and what we are looking forward to during the next five it was nice to see that many of our answers were the same. We also had a chance to reflect on some of the advice we were given when we were married so today I want to share our top 5 tips with you.

1. Always hold hands. This is the advice that our religious leader gave us just before marrying us. We didn't think much of it at the time but now as we look back we can see a huge difference in our relationship when we take the time to hold hands. It's simple and doesn't take any extra time. It also gets harder the more kids that we have. One thing I can tell you though is that it's super hard to be angry or fight when you're holding hands. Just one more reminder that it's the little things that count.

3. Don't let your kids see you fight. We all know they won't be in on the makeup session so don't let your kids be in on the fighting either. Our little toddlers have asked us if we're still mad at each other long after we're ok simply because the working it out happens after they are in bed. If you're going to fight make sure your kids either don't know about it or that you both assure them that things are ok afterword.

2. Don't go to bed angry. At our house this is a big no-no. We both know that if we go to bed angry we will be up in a few hours, when the kids wake us up in the night, and will be just as frustrated then. Falling asleep angry is hard, don't make yourself do it. You'll sleep better!

4. Learn the 5 Love Languages. If you don't know about the 5 Love Languages it won't take you long to do a brief Google search and find out. We read about the 5 Love Languages about a year into our marriage and it was one of the best things that we did. We learned all about how different people feel loved and learned that E and I see loving acts in two very different ways. This was a great experience that allowed us to better show our love for each other because we knew what the other person saw as a loving act. For example, I feel most loved when you say kind things but for E the most meaningful thing is a loving touch. Knowing this helped us to show our love better which has made our marriage much stronger!

5. Make it work. Life is work and so is a marriage. If you want things to go better you need to work at it. You'll have good days and bad but you can make your life what you want it to be. This is not a one sided game and when you work together toward the common goal of having a happy home you will not only become happier but you will become a closer couple as well.

Thanks for a great 5 years E!

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